Things I Miss!

After spending a week and a half in the Northeast (CT, NYC, Boston) there are definitely some Northeast things that I miss now that I have been back in OKC a week. I had tears in my eyes while sitting on the plane at Logan getting ready to fly back west. So here are the things I miss (besides the obvious family and friends):

Rude people: Now this is an odd one since I didn’t like them when I lived in the Northeast but after 4 months of people at the airport asking me where I’m flying and people on the elevator asking me how my day was, I was feeling a little Stepford Wives. How refreshing when the woman working the counter at Alamo in Boston started barking policies at me and didn’t give a shit where I was going or how my day was.

Good radio stations: As soon as I got in my rental in Boston and turned on the radio; I knew I wasn’t in Oklahoma anymore. No country stations, or gospel music or people complaining about the government’s war on religion. No ads for classes on the Constitution. Hey Oklahomans, you would have received a free education on the Constitution if you hadn’t dropped out in elementary school.

Jesus free cars: For an entire week and a half in the Northeast, the only Jesus sign I saw was a bumper sticker on a car: “When Jesus said love thy neighbor, I think he meant try not to kill them.” Far cry from the cars here that not only put Jesus bumper stickers on the back, but actually paint Jesus signs right on to the car!

5 more weeks until I get back to normal again!

An Inconvenient State

I write this at 39,000 feet up in the air and Oklahoma City at my back! Getting out of the airport this morning I was reminded at just how inconvenient it is to live in OKC. The airport is somewhat small which would normally make flying easier. I guess if they had more than 5 security lanes for the thousands of people this morning or if security would drink a little coffee in the morning to get themselves moving a little quicker, that would be true. As it was I got to the airport an hour before my flight, snuck over to the alternate security not everyone knows about and STILL walked on to my plane just 15 minutes before take off. Surprisingly enough 4 other people walked on after me.

So what other inconveniences do people in OKC willingly live with besides almost missing their plane every time they fly? Pretty much getting anything is also difficult! I tried to order a cheap IKEA love seat for my cheap OKC apartment but shipping on a $150 item was $320 bringing a cheap love seat to over $500 with taxes…and they needed an entire month to get it to me. I guess they planned on getting it to me via covered wagon. A quick check of the delivery expense for the same love seat to CT came up as just $99 (bad enough!) When I questioned a co-worker about it, she one upped me with a tale of a Crate and Barrel couch that would have cost her around $500 to get to OKC. Instead she got a pick up truck, drove the 3 hours to Dallas, got a hotel room for the night and drove her couch back 3 hours to OKC. No inconvenience there! Dallas is also the place to go if you want to do any real clothes shopping and have 6 hours to spend in your car to do it. The shopping I got done in Dallas last weekend could have been accomplished with a 20 minute drive to West Farms in CT.

Oh people in OK will brag about how low the cost of living is and how great it is that there is no traffic and how they could never live somewhere else but the lesson of this story is that sometimes it pays to live near some shit. At least in CT I can have an entire living room set delivered to me in two days for $75.

OKC Weather

Coming here I knew that weather may be somewhat of an issue but so far I have lucked out and no tornadoes! No such luck with the hail and earthquakes. I'm convinced that people were never meant to live here. My only saving grace is that I live downtown and it was built where there is not a lot of tornado activity.

I do see a lot of cars with pretty extensive hail damage and the entire Oklahoma economy seems to be centered around fixing hail damage if you go by all of the car repair advertisements.

Some fucked up OKC cars:

And shout out to the good weather people of OKC who help us navigate this horrible weather while not inspiring much confidence in their sequined tops!

Wild Wild West!

I have a sneaking suspicion that everyone around me is packing heat. The signs are all there...I mean literally...so many people carry guns around wherever they go that signs are needed outside bars to remind people not to bring them in.

Where I'm from not being able to bring guns in to bars is understood. Here you get a polite sign in case you aren't sure. And no wonder they need to remind people of proper gun edicate; just last week a security guard at the "fancy" mall opened fire in the parking lot on two female shop lifters.

http://www.news9.com/Global/story.asp?S=13332145

Shoot outs in mall parking lots over a few pairs of jeans...totally normal in the wild wild west!

Oklahoma State Fair

Last weekend I was touring London, this weekend it was the Oklahoma State Fair. Ever so slightly different.

Oklahoma is not London but the fair had many interesting things to offer including an arm wrestling contest, live animal surgery, an ugliest cake contest and a "Cheer 4 Christ" Pom & Dance squad. Now the only reason I do not have a picture of the little Christ Cheerleaders with the big crosses on their uniforms is because I do not believe in making fun of children. I'll wait until these girls get a little bigger to start making fun.

Some photos from the day:

I'm not sure how I resisted the $9 OU overalls. MUST RESIST URGE TO BUY!

Yes, I imagine that Oklahoma is much like heaven!

Even If I could figure out how to get manicotti on a stick, why would I want to eat it that way? Don't we have enough foods on a stick? I'm not even sure what deep fried bacon cheddar mashed potatoes on a stick would look like!

Oklahoma City Worse Place to Live Than Newark?

I appears that I am in the 5th worst place in the country to live. So what are the factors that put OKC so high up on this list?

Lots of fat people...check
Lack of parks...check
Lack of people biking or walking to work...check (who the hell would want to walk in this heat anway?)

http://www.walletpop.com/blog/2010/08/05/10-worst-places-to-live/

I never thought I would consider Newark as an upgrade but there you have it. At least I can still look down on Detroit! Maybe if I start eating non-stop and stop moving completely I can help propel us to #1 for next year.

Oklahoma Politics

I've been trying to ignore the fact that I have been living in a red state but the signs are clearly all around me:
1. The political candidates here talk about God in their ads. In CT a Republican won't even use the word "conservative" let along use the word "God."
2. A woman bragged to me about her husband loving Glenn Beck. I'm assuming she has never seen his show or else she would try and keep that one under wraps.
3. The local tea party is forming an armed militia...as if the tea party wasn't crazy enough!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/04/13/oklahoma-tea-party-plans_n_535412.html
This from a city that lost 168 people, many of them children when an anti-government terrorist blew up the building that used to be right next door to where I currently live.
4. A co-worker is heading to DC to spend her wedding anniversary at a Sarah Palin-Glenn Beck-Tea Party rally. Nothing says romance like that trio! She is a little nervous about "black panthers, communists and socialists (oh my)" that are sure to protest but why let an anniversary stand in the way of a perfectly good riot!

All of this is just a little but overwhelming for someone who is liberal even by New England standard.