Signs it's time to leave OKC

Yes, the signs are all around me. Time to think about saying goodbye to these cowboys and head back east.


First sign: The city gives GWB an award accepted by the Bush Twins right OUTSIDE my apartment. Oy Vey! It's as if they want me to leave. Next they'll be putting a large statue of Reagan out there.

Second sign: My cat isn't safe here since apparently Oakies mutilate them for Lady Gaga concert outfits. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/04/14/woman-mutilates-cat-lady-gaga-outfit_n_849167.html

Third sign: The freaking Tornadoes! How many hundreds of tornadoes need to touch down around here before I get the hell out of dodge? Look at the freakin chart? Why is the line for 2011 heading straight up? Sheesh!

Fourth sign: Coworkers complaining about how long The President took to release his birth certificate...ok....his second birth certificate people. And I'm still waiting for proof that GWB was actually born in CT. I know that mother fucker had to have been born in Texas...Arizona...Florida...or really any fucked up state!

And really, it's Oklahoma City...what other reasons do I need?

Yet another reason not to go to church

A new study finds that people who go to church are more likely to be obese; yet another reason to avoid church here in OKC. http://www.wkrn.com/story/14334057/church-goers-more-likely-to-be-obese-study-says

Church + Drive Thrus every 50 feet + Unbearable heat makes this one of the fattest cities in the country. http://newsok.com/article/3337842

So while the rest of the city is busy getting fat at church on sundays, I get to complete all of my chores quickly with no lines at the stores and zero people in the gym! Thank you God!